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Strangers, Mothers, and Orphans



We come into the life of a stranger

with all the helpless fury

of a storm in an aquarium.

Frail and weak, we are unable to

perform the most basic

tasks needed for survival.

But within moments of our first meeting

the stranger has taken us to her breast

and allowed us to drink from the

fountain of her heart.


In a life full of busy days

she will make us the

center of her universe.

Her every waking

awakened

moment

will be spent trying to understand

the urgent needs and rantings

of the newcomer

who doesn’t yet speak the language.

We will come to know her as

our protector;

our teacher;

our biggest fan;

our Mother.


She will teach us and learn from us.

She will lead us and chase after us.

She will hold us back and encourage us to move forward.

She will scold and fret and cheer us on from the sidelines.


Somewhere in the midst of life,

she will lose her own

Mother

and Father.

An orphan, she will move up

a branch

in the family tree

and get settled there.


For a time, we will allow ourselves to believe

that she will always be there,

one branch above,

watching over us.

But there will come a day when,

frail and weak,

she is unable to

perform any of the most basic

tasks needed for her survival.


In a life full of busy days

we will make room

for her to revolve

in our universe.

We will try to understand

the urgent needs

and frightened rantings

of this beloved stranger

who is losing the ability

to speak the language.

We will become her protector.

We will lead her

and encourage her to move forward.


Somewhere in the midst of life,

we will lose her.

We will become the orphan.

We will move up

a branch

in the family tree

and get settled there

and always remember

with gratitude,

the beautiful stranger

we came to call

Mother


Written in 2010 for my caregiver website, "Don't Lose Heart."

Copyright 2022 ©Jean Fogelberg

Please do not re-post or print without express permission.





8 Comments


Deb KH
Deb KH
Jun 30, 2024

Lost my mom at 96 - miss her every single day -- still forget that she's gone sometimes 5 years later - the urge to call her never leaves me. I was so lucky - she had a perfect mind right up until she left us. What a gift.

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Guest
Nov 07, 2023

Two days ago I became an orphan. I cared for Mom until she passed quietly on Nov 5th, one week before her 91st birthday. My grandmother's favorite flower was the hydrangea, as was my mother's, and mine. I guess it is a Swedish thing :) I received a beautiful pillow with your artwork from Spoonflower yesterday with hydrangeas on it. As I try and rest between doing all the that have to be done, the waves of emotions just ebb and flow over me, and I am grateful for your lovely, soothing artwork on my pillow. Thank you so very much for sharing your calming thoughts and your artwork to help get us all through this phase of our lives.

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Guest
Nov 02, 2023

I wish I could find your caregiver website. I moved my husband, who is a quadriplegic, and myself into my parent's house last January. Dad died 2 weeks later. I now care for my husband and my 90 year old bedridden mother with dementia. I try to keep a good attitude, although I miss my friends and work. I know someday this, too, shall pass. I'll be able to work on my art and travel again, but, until then, I just get through each day. I know you did the same. Watching loved ones slip away takes a bit of one's soul every time a downhill change occurs. When well meaning friends tell me that I need to take c…

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Guest
Dec 08, 2022

My sister has ALS and has 4 grown kids, albeit in their 20’s. I hope to write something for them. Enjoy the beautiful winter!! Terese

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Guest
Dec 01, 2022

Such a touching tale.

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